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Sunday, March 2, 2014

Quarter-Life

It's been 10 years. Looking back, I have nothing but regrets. I could've been better. I could've fought for my dream, even if it meant being kicked out of the house and living on my own. 

10 years. A lot of what-ifs and what-could-have-been's. Sadly, I'm no longer that bright-eyed girl. My failures have made my stares ice cold and dull. It's too late.

10 years. All I ever wanted was to be on stage, doing what I love... sharing my passion through music. Was it too much to ask?

24 years & 3 months.  I've waited for so long. I don't think I can wait any longer. I'm afraid that if I do, there'll be nothing left for me to show; the fire might've already diminished long ago.

I hope time will give me another chance.

I hope it's not yet too late.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

.

I'm back but not for long
I'll paint it black for now
And live in the shadows

The silence is refreshing
I can actually live with it
Don't worry, I'm still here
Just like 'Zhong Ji Yi Ban'
Living in another dimension

Monday, July 1, 2013

Almost There But Not Quite


I can't wait for this year to end, maybe because I feel that something better is waiting for me in the distant future.

Happiness and peace... why are you guys taking so long to find me? :(


Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Day 15, my lucky number

Photo (c) Faye Garcia | edited on InstaText app =)

These days, I've developed a habit of checking all my social networking accounts before I leave the bed. Lucky for me, all the posts and tweets I laid my eyes on have put me in a good mood throughout the day.

While it's no secret to most people that I'm going through a (bad) break-up... for the first time in my life, I actually feel that it's not such a bad thing after all. In fact, it's done me a lot of good things lately. I'm not just psyching myself that all's well with my life because I can see the manifestation of positive things happening: I finally got myself a high-end phone, I was able to shop to my heart's (and credit card's) content, I started (again) going to Church to hear Mass after what seemed like ages, I had more time with my friends to have random lunch-outs or dinner with them or whatnot... and so on.

I don't know if it's a "normal thing" to act this way after everything that has happened, but I'm genuinely happy. For once, I don't feel the "need" to hide my feelings to anyone who'd asked me how I'm doing. My head's also no longer filled with doubt, hate, distrust and self-monologues of what-could-be or I-should-say-this-but-I-don't-know-if-I-can scenarios. So to speak, I'm free.

No more psych wars... No more emotional stress. Just pure sanity and bliss.

I've opened my eyes to the possibility that better things are still to come, for where I'm standing right now I can see clearly the mess of a life I've chosen but now the cloud has lifted & I'm bathed in the light of day. I can feel the warmth, comfort and happiness pouring to my heart and soul.

I'm feeling lucky. I feel blessed. I feel that I've come out a better person. And I thank God that he's making me this way.