Wednesday, May 22, 2019


It's been a while. Actually, more than 5 years to be exact.

Five years was both a long time, and yet it feels like it was just yesterday.

I no longer dream.

I no longer write songs.

I wrote a story... once. Now, all the inspiration I used to have has left me for good.

I've succumbed myself with the ordinariness of daily living... surviving. Wake up, work, eat, go home, go to sleep, repeat.

I can't complain much either, because the life I have now and the places I've been to is the life my younger self would only think of as a dream.

But some days, I still ask myself what I could have been if I did not opt for the decisions I'm living out in the present.

Would I be happier? Would I be sad, or frustrated even?

I don't really know.

I'm only here so I can take some things off my chest.

This year has been hard on me, not because of my work. But of the choices I made personally.

I burned some bridges, isolated myself in a world that now I can't get out of.

Sometimes I get panic attacks mid-day or before going to sleep. Sometimes I feel so down, I wish I don't even have to get out of bed.

A blessing and a burden intertwined.

No one else knows. I never told anyone when they meet me. Maybe they'll think I've gone crazy.

Maybe they'll tell me to find a religion, or a hobby, or a distraction.

I don't really know.

I still don't know.

Anyway, thanks for reading this.

다시 만날 때까지...

Sunday, March 2, 2014


It's been 10 years. Looking back, I have nothing but regrets. I could've been better. I could've fought for my dream, even if it meant being kicked out of the house and living on my own. 

10 years. A lot of what-ifs and what-could-have-been's. Sadly, I'm no longer that bright-eyed girl. My failures have made my stares ice cold and dull. It's too late.

10 years. All I ever wanted was to be on stage, doing what I love... sharing my passion through music. Was it too much to ask?

24 years & 3 months.  I've waited for so long. I don't think I can wait any longer. I'm afraid that if I do, there'll be nothing left for me to show; the fire might've already diminished long ago.

I hope time will give me another chance.

I hope it's not yet too late.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013


I'm back but not for long
I'll paint it black for now
And live in the shadows

The silence is refreshing
I can actually live with it
Don't worry, I'm still here
Just like 'Zhong Ji Yi Ban'
Living in another dimension

Monday, July 1, 2013

Almost There But Not Quite

I can't wait for this year to end, maybe because I feel that something better is waiting for me in the distant future.

Happiness and peace... why are you guys taking so long to find me? :(

Friday, June 21, 2013