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Friday, December 25, 2009

'Tis the Season, But I'm not Jolly!

Hello world!

Uh-huh, let's see... I haven't updated for more than a month already. The past month has LITERALLY been a whirlwind of events --- and I can't think of a more appropriate way of saying it.

Honestly:
  • I've been physically unhealthy. I was on antibiotics for 3 weeks, then a week on cough meds. And now I'm back on antibiotics again. Bummer!
  • I've been physically- and mentally-drained from school.
  • I've been to one-too-many events in school. Either attended or performed.
  • I've been going home late by saying "Please fetch me at 9 or 9:30 or 10:00 pm. My class ends at 5 (which is true), and my choir practice ends late (which is not always true). After that I'll be eating dinner with my friends (which is, again, not always true. We drink booze or hang out for coffee)" - that kind of excuse.
  • I've cut classes one-too-many times. I'm either working for my various school orgs or just stays somewhere. Class is boring, I'd rather let my books do the talking!
  • I've been stalked at, looked at, checked out and so on. I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE IT. (PS: I don't bite! Haha!)
  • I've been saddened by the sudden 'break-up' of one of my favorite local band. And no, I don't think there's any more room for reconciliation.

And lately:
  • I'm PMS-ing on Christmas day... hooray!
  • I can't drink booze at home (and can't even blurt out my frustration verbally).
  • Earlier this day, I watched a horror movie. Ironic.
  • I miss someone BADLY, and I don't know why.
  • ... and I currently hate watching cheesy chic flicks/love stories just 'coz it makes me miss that person more. AND NO, IT'S NOT SOMEONE YOU KNOW (whoever's reading this - ask my friend Caren, okay?)

Sorry, ma-drama. ANYWAY.

Despite all the craziness I've been doing lately, I feel good. HELL YEAH, I'M GOOD!!!

Looking back, I never thought I'd be where I am now: stronger than ever in all aspects, resilient, forgiving BUT never-ever forgetting. And yes people, I think I somehow shed that nonsense "good girl image" I've donned since Freshman year.

Yes, I drink booze.
No, I don't get hella drunk.
No, I don't smoke.
No, I don't do drugs.
CLEAR?

But there's just one problem I'm facing now: I AM BORED out of my wits at home. I feel like I'm locked up in an unhappy place. All I ever did since the 20th was sleep for 12 hours a day, go online, watch TV shows, and go on a last-minute Christmas shopping which wasn't that tiring considering that I only have less than 20 people on my list.

For the first time in the last 4 years, I never thought I'd say that my Christmas right now just doesn't feel right. It doesn't, really. I may not know why, but something's really different. Even the simple "Noche Buena" felt ritualistic to me; no fun at all.

What is happening?!? Ugggghh.

But to all those out there, HAPPY CHRISTMAS! I'm still hoping for a sudden turn of events. Anyway it's the season of perpetual hope, right?

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