- Never put drippin' coleslaw on tortillas, especially if you eat 'em with "green" people.
- Never drink water while someone's about to say something scandalous.
- Only wear heels when you're sure you have a 20/20 vision, or can tell the difference between steps.
- Never reveal something shocking when someone's driving down a spiral driveway. It's stupid, and becomes funny instead of shocking.
- Easy on the heavy topics, people get DISTURBED. Really.