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Sunday, October 24, 2010

Forward

I'm moving forward.

Hope. Happiness. Self-Love. Inner Peace.
And when the wind blows, I wish it'll bring me change.
A sense of rebirth.
My REBIRTH.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

A Note from Above

Today, one of the Facebook apps I use reads:

On this day of your life, Faye, we believe God wants you to know... that you are blessed.

You may think you have challenges, but you have so many blessings. Sometimes, it takes only a moment of conscious effort to recognize those blessings. Once you focus on the gifts instead of the problems, your whole perspective will change and you will see blessings everywhere.

Maybe this is His way of giving me a wake up call; of telling me to exude more positivity in life. I am the kind of person who can give out great advices to people, but I never take my own advice. I rot with pessimism, the kind that eats you up from the inside-out and consumes you 24/7.

But maybe, just maybe... I do need more positivity in all aspects of my life. My family, career, love, friendship and everything that binds it all together.

Yet somehow, I know I'm getting there. Everything I've been through since 2008 has made me an entirely different person - but in a much better way, I suppose. I've been through hell and heartaches more than any person I know, and yet I still find myself standing and moving forward with hope. But it is somehow tiring.

I hope I can finally find my solid ground.

Friday, October 8, 2010

I Need a Breather

Just got to take a few things off my chest. Here we go~

I feel lost and somehow confused with what I really want. It's like I'm trying to find that zest in life and driving force to go on living.

Is this what they truly meant by the term "quarter life crisis"? I do have a job, yes. A little something I'm keeping to my advantage to pay for my trainings. It's a job, but not the kind that is in line with my profession. It's a job that is on neutral grounds for me; it's not exciting, nor is it mediocre. It's a job. Am I getting my point across? Maybe yes, maybe no.

But because of this job, I feel like I might lose myself at a certain point. I might end up sticking with it, until such time that I'm ready to let it go... or I might find a way to keep myself from straying further.

And this made me realize that I have a whole lifetime ahead of me to plan things, yet I have to start moving soon or else everyone else might pass me by.

It's a tough decision. Rough times are ahead and I can feel it. I have exactly 3 months to make up my mind; the sooner, the better.

AND~

Right now, I don't know why I worry too much. I have a lot going on through my mind lately, like it's an explosion of 10,000 things all in one go. I've been getting mixed signals, misunderstanding and misinterpreting things and the list goes on. Sometimes even to the point of delaying a few things just so I can get a grip of myself.

This is definitely not me.


PS. I just hope I can really trust and believe in you. Do not be like the ones who came before you, who just stood there and did nothing. You're more than that... I hope.