Just got to take a few things off my chest. Here we go~
I feel lost and somehow confused with what I really want. It's like I'm trying to find that zest in life and driving force to go on living.
Is this what they truly meant by the term "quarter life crisis"? I do have a job, yes. A little something I'm keeping to my advantage to pay for my trainings. It's a job, but not the kind that is in line with my profession. It's a job that is on neutral grounds for me; it's not exciting, nor is it mediocre. It's a job. Am I getting my point across? Maybe yes, maybe no.
But because of this job, I feel like I might lose myself at a certain point. I might end up sticking with it, until such time that I'm ready to let it go... or I might find a way to keep myself from straying further.
And this made me realize that I have a whole lifetime ahead of me to plan things, yet I have to start moving soon or else everyone else might pass me by.
It's a tough decision. Rough times are ahead and I can feel it. I have exactly 3 months to make up my mind; the sooner, the better.
Right now, I don't know why I worry too much. I have a lot going on through my mind lately, like it's an explosion of 10,000 things all in one go. I've been getting mixed signals, misunderstanding and misinterpreting things and the list goes on. Sometimes even to the point of delaying a few things just so I can get a grip of myself.
This is definitely not me.
PS. I just hope I can really trust and believe in you. Do not be like the ones who came before you, who just stood there and did nothing. You're more than that... I hope.