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Saturday, October 8, 2011

Life's A Beautiful Mess

"Let go of pride and surrender to love. Live a beautiful life."

I remember re-tweeting this yesterday but it made more sense to me at this moment. Such beautiful words yet so hard to live out. Almost tragic.

I recall my mom saying, "The right amount of pride is vital in life. Without it, you may lose yourself." - That's true. I'm not even going to argue with her about it. Yes, pride IS one of the deadly sins. And yet, I believe that it only becomes as such if it's excessive.

We are always taught of the ideals acceptable within societal norms, yet it's hard to carry them out because we can never tailor-fit something that is not custom-made for us. We tend to judge people by what they do and say without truly knowing why they are behaving in such a manner.

When I was younger and naive, I often judge people as they appear right before my eyes - not really caring to delve deep into what makes them tick, that is why misunderstood them and it led to a lot of arguments. I used to believe that I'm the greatest person on Earth - no kidding. That just reflects how sheltered my life was back when I was a kid; I was the center of attention, the youngest in the family, the "miracle" child as I've told. But being shoved to the real world made me realize that I'm just a speck in this so-called journey. I'm not perfect. I'm no longer an achiever. I'm just average. I'm just me. Luckily, I've been blessed with a great family and awesome set of close friends who taught me how to be myself without losing a grip of who I ought to be.

Yet, pride is still there. It still is and it will be. Not because I glorify in being sinful - don't get me wrong. But rather, I use it as a form of "veil" that would shield me from all the things that could hurt me physically, emotionally, spiritually and psychologically. Though that is the case, I still try to take a step back first before analyzing things and situations. It's a perspective in life that I'm still trying to master because it ain't easy, but it's pretty much useful. I can say it helps to clear my cluttered thoughts, makes me create sound judgment and aid in my relationships. And with it, I've grown fully aware of the things around me.

It's only been a little over two decades that I've lived my life. So much things will still happen, but definitely a worthwhile journey towards a bright and beautiful tomorrow. Life's both a battle and a race. Take risks. Live life.

oOo

"Nobody said it was easy." ~Coldplay

This goes out to my closest friends experiencing turbulence in their relationship:

Managing relationships are tricky, especially the romantic kind. A lot of things are constantly at stake, most especially your time and emotion. On an upbeat, it's satisfying, gratifying and gives you a sort-of confidence boost. But on the downside, it can be frustrating, confusing and literally emotional suicide. It's both healthy and unhealthy. It's a struggle. And yet, refer to the line above from Coldplay's song The Scientist.

I admit, I've never had any serious relationships before (yes, you've read that right). I've never talked about it because there was no need to. Countless, yes, but remarkable, yes and no - maybe none. But I think it's high time that I say my two cents on this.

Perhaps not being in an actual relationship before is my flaw to handling ties. Though I may know how to handle other people in different scenarios, but being in this state is very much different. It's not something casual, but not too formal either. It's kind of like in the middle.

Get my drift? Okay, I'm being vague here. But that's my ultimate flaw; every person has one, right? And yet, it doesn't necessarily mean that I don't try my hardest to make things work. I do. I try. Always.

But let's remember that working on relationships is a two-way process. Building its foundation is a great task and it needs two mature and sincere people to make things work. If in case that the other person still carries excess baggage from previous commitments, it will never work. Leave the past behind and face the future challenge.

It was said that the things that make a difference are real COMPROMISE, real SACRIFICE and real MOMENTS.

oOo

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -- I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference!"
~excerpt from The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

I'm at a crossroads in my life.

Wow, I never thought I'd say this - but... at this point, I just want to run away to the depths of the Earth.

Career path. Still non-existent. Well, technically, yes, mostly likely no. But then again... risks and more risks up ahead. Is it worth it?

Sa Galid or Up State?

Decisions... decisions... and thus, I surrender everything to Him for it was said that God Won't Give You More Than You Can Handle.

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