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Friday, May 17, 2013

You Never Truly Loved Me

I was supposed to write EVERY detail as to why I think
You never truly loved me
But I stopped halfway
Thinking that it would do me no good
And that there's no use dwelling on things that are long gone

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I remember you.
Your face. The way you speak. The way you act. The way you stare.
And yet whenever I'm flooded with memories of you.
I'm conflicted...
I no longer feel the love and care.
I'm blinded with anger, disgust, loathing... in every fiber of me.

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Ever since the beginning, I had this little voice behind my mind saying,
"He doesn't truly love you. So why are you still giving him a chance?"
But I did. I gave you CHANCES.
Because I was hoping that one day you'll change and that you'll GROW UP.

... but you didn't.

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I didn't see your effort in keeping our relationship.
Well, not just keep it but rather make it stronger.

I just stood there, waiting, and waiting, and hoping.
While you go around cavorting with your so-called "friends"
Whom you probably put on high regard over me
Despite the fact that they've spread lies when we were still dating
To ruin my reputation and make themselves look good
And even went as far as "threatening" my life, even if it was their own brand of "joke".

AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
Because you are a COWARD.
You ESCAPE when things get out of hand.
You don't have the guts to fight for what you truly want to keep in your life.
You are RUDE, SELFISH and IRRESPONSIBLE.

You let your "friends" have the upper hand.
You blindly let yourself be 'swayed' by their influence.
YOU ARE THAT PATHETIC IN MY EYES RIGHT NOW.
And I DESPISE you for that.

You dare hurt my feelings? Shame on you!

Is that how Christians are supposed to treat their "God's gift"?
Then I'll be damned.

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If you feel that what I just said aren't true, then PROVE IT.
Be a MAN.
Otherwise, I'll just go right back to my conclusion:
That you never truly loved me...
Everything was just an illusion...
And that I deserve SO much better than having you in my life.

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